Heartstopper’s Yasmin Finney gets real about dating: ‘Men let me down all the time’

As anticipation builds for the return of Netflix’s smash hit teen love story Heartstopper, the show’s biggest breakout star Yasmin Finney has reflected on her own experience of finding love.

She might only be 19 years old, but Yasmin Finney’s huge celebrity status has already gotten in the way of her finding the one.

Since the monumental success of the Netflix adaptation of Alice Oseman’s graphic novel Heartstopper, in which she plays the cool, calm and collected Elle Argent, Finney’s face has been everywhere.

She’s even bagged a huge role in Russell T Davies’ upcoming series of Doctor Who, starring alongside Ncuti Gatwa.

Yet fame evidently has some big downsides. Finney has spoken out previously about the social media hatred she’s received, her only crime being that she’s a trans woman in the spotlight.

She’s also opened up about the roadblocks that come with dating as a celebrity, telling Elle magazine earlier this year that she’s been blocked from using the best-known dating apps for supposedly impersonating a celebrity.

Some guys, Finney explained, feel intimidated by her. In a new interview with Cosmopolitan UK though, she’s gone ever further, explaining that she gets disappointed by men “all the time”.

Speaking to British trans trailblazer and author Munroe Bergdorf, Finney made a pretty bold claim: she doesn’t think she will ever find the right person to be with.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to fall in love,” she shared. “I’m too sure of myself to lessen myself for any other person that isn’t ‘with me’. It’s what Eartha Kitt said, ‘I want to fall in love with myself and … I want someone to share me, with me.’

“It’s difficult,” she added. “Men let me down all the time.”

If it sounds like an upsetting predicament to be in, her fans shouldn’t worry. During her Elle interview earlier this year, she said that she’s truly not too bothered about being on her own. 

“When you have to rely on other people’s validation you’re not going to survive in this world,” she said. “This world wasn’t built on your boyfriend buying you everything. Be your own sugar daddy!”

As Heartstopper’s second season returns to our screens, much of the focus will be on how doe-eyed Nick Nelson (Kit Connor) will deal with coming out and making his relationship with Charlie Spring (Joe Locke) official. Finney’s Elle, though, will have some bumps in the road to love to deal with, too, as she and Tao Xu (William Gao) work out whether they’ll ever be anything more than friends.

Finney is joyful about the prospect of returning to the character that made her a Gen-Z national treasure. 

“When I got cast as Elle aged 17, I was just happy to play this amazing trans girl who’s living authentically. I was still figuring out who I was, so it was mind-blowing to see the response to Elle,” she told Cosmopolitan. “She’ll always be my hero.”

Her rise to becoming the most notable trans character and actress in the UK has come at a strange time, though, with the country’s tolerance of trans people taking one step forward, and 50 steps back. It’s something Finney has had to contend with on her journey to the top.

“Who I am is always going to be something that people want to talk about, but individuals should never be seen as a political playground,” she explained.

Her platform also comes with responsibilities and as such, she has been keen to raise awareness of the realities for trans women in the UK.

Back in April, she declared that the “NHS is a completely broken system” as she has had to deal with being on a waiting list for gender-affirming care for eight years.

Moving forward, Finney wants to put more of her attention on tackling the very real issue of body dysmorphia faced by many trans people – particularly for those who are unable to access the gender-affirming care they need.

“I want to start a ‘love your body’ campaign for anyone who [lives with] body dysmorphia and gender dysmorphia. It’s taken me such a long time to fall in love with my body,” she revealed to Bergdorf.

“When I look at myself, I want to embody confidence … I’ve got a long way to go, but if I could give back to anyone, it would be my community.”

The Aug/Sept cover of Cosmopolitan UK is on sale from 25 July. Heartstopper season two is available to stream on Netflix from 3 August.